Maybe I don't have to know yet.

A girlfriend recently informed me that I am not qualified to make any major life decisions right now.

I laughed.

Then I realized she might be right.

There are a lot of decisions to make when a life changes unexpectedly. Some are unavoidable and need answers right now. Others just feel urgent because everything else feels uncertain. My instinct is usually to figure things out. I like clarity. I like knowing what I want and making choices that move me toward it. I've built a lot of my life around exactly that idea.

But apparently there are times when clarity looks a little different. Sometimes clarity is knowing I don't know yet. So I've been putting a lot of my belongings into storage. Probably too many of them.

There is a very good chance that someday I will open some of these boxes and wonder why on earth I paid to store whatever is inside. But Future Lara can deal with that. Current Lara has been officially declared unqualified to make major decisions and is becoming a nomad.

And there is something wonderfully freeing about that.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to know. When a job ends, we think we need to know what we're doing next. When a relationship changes, we want to know what that means for the rest of our lives. When the kids leave home, we wonder what our new purpose is. When something we've planned for disappears, we immediately start trying to construct another plan.

We want the answer because answers feel like control. But sometimes there really is a decision to make and sometimes we're trying to answer questions that don't need answers yet.

I've been wondering how often we confuse uncertainty with urgency. They aren't the same thing. Maybe that's a useful question when we feel ourselves scrambling for an answer: Does this actually need to be decided now, or do I just really want the discomfort of not knowing to go away? Those are two very different problems.

Not knowing what comes next can be uncomfortable, but discomfort doesn't automatically mean we need to fix it. Sometimes we need more information. Sometimes we need more time. Sometimes we need to get far enough away from what just happened to hear what we actually want.

And sometimes we just need to put the questionable lamp in storage and move on.

I'm doing a fair amount of that right now. I don't feel pulled toward buying another house or planting myself somewhere simply because having an address would make my life look more settled and fit into everyone else's paradigm of me.

Somewhere in the middle of packing, I also had one of those moments when I heard God very clearly: Put your stuff in storage. You're going to need to go.

Go where? Unfortunately that information was not included.

So for now, I've been trying Airbnb life. And I like it.

A few months ago, that probably would have bothered me more. Right now, I'm trying to trust what I know without inventing answers for what I don't. I know I'm not ready to choose another permanent home. I know adventure is one of my core values. I know there are people I love and things I want to experience. I know I don't want to make permanent decisions simply because temporary uncertainty makes me uncomfortable.

Maybe that's enough clarity for today.

I've spent years talking about creating a life you love and I still believe deeply in getting clear about what you want and making intentional choices that move you toward it. But I'm beginning to think there's another piece of intentional living we don't talk about enough.

Knowing when not to choose.

Because making a decision just to stop feeling uncertain isn't necessarily clarity. Sometimes it's just relief. And relief can be awfully convincing when we're uncomfortable.

There's a difference between being stuck because we're afraid to move and intentionally giving ourselves enough space to discover where we actually want to go. From the outside, both might look like someone who hasn't made a decision.

Inside, they're very different. One is waiting for fear to disappear. The other is paying attention.

I think that's what I'm trying to do right now. Pay attention and lean into love.

Pay attention to what gives me energy. What doesn't. What I'm drawn toward. What I'm ready to leave behind. What feels like an old answer to a question I may not even be asking anymore.

And lean into what is already good.

Maybe we don't always discover what we want by sitting down and demanding an answer from ourselves. Maybe sometimes we discover it by living for a while and noticing.

I celebrated my birthday this month with people I love, in a life that looks nothing like the one I would have pictured for myself a few months ago. And there was still joy.

That's worth noticing. Because maybe the space between what was and what comes next isn't something we need to rush through. There's life here too. People to love. Birthdays to celebrate. Places to explore. Things to notice. Questions to ask.

We don't have to put our lives on hold while we figure out what our lives are going to be.

That may be what I'm most curious about right now. Not: What am I going to do with the rest of my life? That's a rather large assignment for a woman who isn't currently qualified to decide what to do with 100 pairs of shoes.

Maybe the better question is simply: What do I want to do next?

That I can answer.

And the rest can stay in storage for a while.

If You’re Curious…

• Is there a decision you're pressuring yourself to make simply because not knowing feels uncomfortable?

• Does it actually need to be decided now, or do you just want the uncertainty to go away?

• If you gave yourself permission not to know yet, what might you have enough space to notice?